1. English may as well be an official language.
2. ‘Hey’ isn’t them being super friendly and casual with you – ‘Hej’ is just how they say hello.
3. As a tourist, you will never have enough money there…especially if you drink…or even eat for that matter.
4. You shouldn’t go out walking in the woods alone in -38 degrees in the few hours of sunshine they have in the winter. You may get lost and caught in a blizzard and presume you are going to die by coming face to face with an angry moose or wolf and/or falling over in the snow and freezing to death.
5. -38 degrees is really REALLY cold.
6. You shouldn’t use any skincare products containing water. These will soak into your face and your skin will freeze!
7. Scandinavians tell it like it is. No bullshitting. Why aren’t more people like this?
8. Reindeer and moose are regular menu items. Who likes chicken and beef anyway?
9. Catch public transport. It’s well-structured, affordable, comfortable and most of the time there’s free wifi.
10. They’re all massive greenies. Don’t you dare put your milk carton into the paper recycling bin or there will be trouble.
11. Norway, Sweden and Denmark all pretend to hate each other but they don’t really. Kinda like Aussies and Kiwis?
12. The most attractive people in the world really are Scandinavian.
By Gidget ‘Gigi’ Gallaher